A moment ago, I was opening my laptop to check my emails with no intention of doing any writing. Then, I heard my 4-year-old daughter belting out an unfamiliar tune (more than likely of her own creation), which made me wistful for a moment.
I began to think.
There will come a day….
…when Caroline will stop believing that no one can hear her sing when she is behind closed doors.
…when we may see more of that closed door than her precious face.
…when my son Will at bedtime may stop pulling me in, initiating a big embrace when I was going for a simple kiss.
…when he will master his speech enough to no longer say, “I wuve you, Mommy.”
…when he may not want to say those words to me at all.
…when my children will not want to race over to me gleefully when I’ve been away from them for a few hours.
…when they will be too big to hug me around the legs.
…when they will no longer possess the innocence to believe in magic.
…when someone will hurt them while I helplessly attempt to repair the damage.
…when their dad and I will be in a painfully quiet home, yearning for the days when we had to ask our kids to lower their voices because they couldn’t contain their excitement.
…when the children’s perfect day will involve being with friends instead of going to the playground with mom and dad.
…when our children will roll their eyes at our attempts at humor instead of belly laughing.
…when we may have to worry about them making unsafe decisions when they are away from home.
…when we will not want them to leave home, but know that it is the best thing for them.
…when I will miss them terribly upon saying goodbye instead of secretly being grateful for a “break.”
But there hopefully will also come a time….
…when I will feel that I allowed my children enough opportunities to fail that they will be prepared for the inevitability of failures which accompany a life lived fearlessly.
…when I will finally be content that my husband and I equipped our children with the knowledge and tools necessary to begin new lives on their own.
…when I will enjoy a friendship with my children.
…when my children will once again be elated to see me after we’ve been apart.
…when my children will solicit advice from me again instead of waiting to be lectured.
…when I will smile and be satisfied that I did not spend too much time missing those life stages gone by or worrying about the stages to come.
So after committing these thoughts to written words, I will tuck them away in a little corner of my brain. They exist to ensure that I am always thankful.
There is so much joy in existing in the present, which is exactly what I intend to do. I wish the same for each of you.
After enjoying many years of employment in the banking industry and singlehood, she met her husband, married him six years later acquiring a dream of a stepson (now 21), had boy and girl twins after 4 years, and decided to say adios to her paying job.(I hope you’re not trying to do the math right now, because YES, she is no spring chicken!)
With her children now 4 years old, she is still working at the most demanding but gratifying job she has ever had and WILL ever have.She is extremely thankful for those women in her life who have shared their own mom stories with her. Your victories and catastrophes have served as blueprints for her own parenting, and now she hopes to do the same for others.
Follow her at Carolina Twin Mom
Latest posts by Mary Peterson (see all)
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